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书名：Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
作者：John Gray
起始部份：第二章第三节上

This Martian custom is one of the reasons men ___1____ offer solutions when a woman talk about feelings or about her problems. When a woman __2____ shares upset feelings or explores out loud the problems of every day, a man mistakenly assumes she is looking for some expert advice. He probably puts on his Mr. Fix It hat and begins giving advice; this is his way of trying to help and showing love.

Once he’s offered a solution, however, and she continues to be upset it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because his solution is being rejected. He feels useless.

He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive. He does not know that on Venus talking about problems is not an invitation to offer a solution.

LIFE ON VENUS

Venusians have different values. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships and their communication. ___3___句子听写.

Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals and success. Talking and relating to one another is a source of ____4____ fulfillment.

This fulfillment is hard for a man to __5____. He can come close to understanding a woman's experience of sharing and relating by comparing it to the satisfaction he feels when he wins a race, achieves a goal, or solves a problem.

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参考译文：（于海生）

正因为火星上有这样的传统和习惯，金星人诉说内心的困惑时，火星人就不由分说，下意识地展开行动，把自以为恰当的主意或见解抛给对方！同样，女人说她多么沮丧和苦恼，男人就会错误地以为，她是希望自己给予帮助，提供可行建议。他摇身变成"修理大王"，立刻指出女人的症结。男人认为，这是最大的支持和帮助，足以证明他忠贞的爱！

　　的确，男人渴望天才派上用场，价值得到体现，由此才配得上你的爱。可现实却与他的期待相反--男人忙碌了半天，你的心情丝毫未见好转。你仍旧沮丧、悲观，苦恼不止。

　　这可害苦了男人！他觉得自己失败了，他心灰意冷，不愿倾听你的肺腑之言。他心里想的是："她似乎不需要我。我的作用微乎其微，还能算是男子汉吗？"他以为你排斥和拒绝他。他甚至认为，在你的眼里，他是一无所用的小人物！男人不知道，女人倾诉时，只要他关切而体贴，或怀着兴趣倾听，女人就觉得欣慰，这是给她的最有力的支持。

　　金星上的生活

　　男人不了解金星人的情况。在金星上，人们更多地谈论问题本身，享受谈论的过程，而不急于找到答案。和火星人相比，金星人有不同的价值观。金星人重视沟通和交流，体验到其间的快乐和美感。金星上的一切，都是这种价值观的反应。金星人花相当多的时间，彼此支持和帮助，其自我价值的实现，更多地来自情感的满足，也来自人际关系的质量。金星人喜欢分享和共鸣，以获得无尽的快慰。

    对于一个女人而言，她的自我意识的提升，她的自我价值的实现，更多地来自情感的满足，也来自人际关系的质量。

　　女人这种需求，让男人很难理解。男人想懂得，那究竟是怎样的感受，就不妨想象他赢得一场比赛、实现一个目标、解决一个问题时，内心体验到的满足感。女人对于交流、分享的需要与之类似。